It’s all about confidence… pt 2

The ABC’s we never learnt at school

If you’ve been following along with our recent musings in ‘It’s all about confidence… Pt 1, you’ll know that practising your Mojo ABC’s — self-acceptance and self-belief — is a fundamental first step in the development of self confidence, and a springboard to building performance confidence. But when it comes to being truly confident, an interesting question remains:

Can we dial up confidence in life without ego coming along for the ride?

We can’t deny that overconfidence delivers when looking at some of the world’s most influential leaders. It’s not uncommon to see big personalities in positions of power or achieving great acclaim, be that in politics, sport, entertainment, business or healthcare. But whilst nothing is ever really that good or that bad, we don’t often talk about how much ego can cost us in being our most authentic selves.

Ego has a habit of creating vertical relationships everywhere. At its most extreme, it can look like a ‘superiority complex,’ or even an ‘inferiority complex’ when fear joins the equation. Ego might offer us a path to success in our area of work, study or relationships, but it also inevitably brings loneliness, as we choose competition and comparison over contribution and connection. Ego can be sneaky too, manifesting in simple, everyday decisions before snowballing into bigger problems (i.e. avoiding accountability, resisting change or being in denial).

The antidote to this complex tug of war with confidence and ego is humility.

Sometimes confused with just being shy, humility is in fact the ultimate superpower for how confidence can show up. “It’s not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less,” as C.S. Lewis says.

Humility grounds us in horizontal relationships, where everyone is an equal. When we operate from this place, we can trust our ability, knowing that we’ll find a way through any challenge or setback that arises by remaining open, asking for help, and contributing vulnerably to those around us. No matter our roles, our titles, awards or track-records — the goal is never to find the answers alone, as ego might have us believe. It’s to create an environment in which the answers can be found by all.

What’s more, humility does wonders for our performance skills by encouraging curiosity, collaboration and continuous growth… Not to mention keeping our ego firmly in check. When we take our work seriously — but not ourselves — we can avoid common Performance Confidence ‘trip hazards,’ like resting on our laurels, shirking responsibility, dismissing feedback or even building vertical relationships. Instead, through humility, we can practise gratitude, embrace humour and experience more joy in the process of going after our goals… just like Rafa with his mid-match giggles or Ash, with her ‘just have a crack’ attitude.

Armed with our ABCs, a performance confidence operating system, and a healthy dose of humility… the sky’s the limit.

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